Verse 32 of the 37 Verses of a Bodhisattva implores us: don’t diminish others. It reads,
If through the influence of disturbing emotions
verse 32
You point out the faults of another Bodhisattva,
You yourself are diminished, so don’t mention the faults
Of those who have entered the Great Vehicle—
This is the practice of bodhisattvas.
It’s a universal wisdom teaching: treat others the way you want to be treated. And that’s because the opposite is true: when we diminish others, we ourselves are diminished. The Dalai Lama in fact translates that word as “degenerate.” When we point out the faults of someone, everything degenerates: us, them, the energy between us, the force field around us. The life-power in our connections decreases. To generate means to bring good things into fruition. So when something is degenerative, it does the opposite. It kills that potential for growth. Why would we want to do that?!
Thubten Chodron says, “We already have enough negative karma and dukkha (suffering), why create more for ourselves? If we truly care about our own happiness, we don’t damage it by creating
negative karma due to pointing out the faults of others, especially a holy being such as a bodhisattva.”
Of course, there’s an asterisk by this when not speaking up actually increases harm. Sometimes, the most generative thing we can do is to speak out against someone’s actions. So this verse is really focusing on those times when our complaints arise more from our own anger and frustration. We don’t intend these remarks for good. It’s just bad gossip, really.
I fear we’re so casual about this in the digital age, when it’s so easy to throw out insults or opinions. I worry about the ways I see that spread into our national conversation, our inability to have productive discussions with people who align differently than we do. We’re all guilty of this, both in the public sphere and as it relates to individuals in our lives.
We can do better. We really can. It just takes mindful attention to the ways our words diminish others…and by extension, diminish us.
How can you use your words this week to create a world of compassionate connection?
