What would it look like if you chose to attend to your resentment? That’s the inquiry behind the 49th lojong slogan. Traditionally, it reads, “Always meditate on whatever provokes resentment.” Now, why would we do a thing like that?! Well, because usually resentment arises at the heart of our illusions.

We can describe resentment as the bitterness we feel when things don’t go the way we think they should. We didn’t get the promotion or the raise. Our friend talked over us at dinner. Our child did not take our advice. Someone on social media took our words out of context. Our parents favor our sibling over us. Whatever it is, resentment happens when we add insult to whatever injury comes to mind. We feel frustrated, slighted, disappointed, hurt.

But until we get closer to these things, we won’t really know what specific emotion is driving it. What’s the hurt underneath it? Which is why it makes a lot of sense to attend to your resentment. It can be such a powerful teacher. Traleg Kyabgon says, “The Mahayana teachings say that there is nothing that doesn’t get easier once we become familiar with it.” And when we get familiar with our resentment, we can often discover some places where old stories or unhelpful beliefs are keeping us stuck. It may help us figure out where some healing may need to happen.

Please note, though: Kyabgon says it gets easier. He doesn’t say it’s easy. Because it isn’t. That’s what makes it a resentment! But this slogan is a reminder of why it’s wise to actually practice the hard stuff. Like last week, when we were reminded to practice everything without bias, this slogan tells us to move toward what makes us uncomfortable rather than avoid it. There’s growth waiting for us in there.

It feels like a tall order, I know. We definitely don’t always want to meditate on whatever provokes resentment. It feels like a very unenjoyable endeavor. But if we remember that feeling when something that used to feel really hard feels a little easier now, we may realize it’s worth the effort.

Where can you compassionately attend to your resentment this week?