When you first begin meditating, it’s natural to feel like you need some “props.” You want to listen to a guided meditation. Or you need music to help you quiet your brain. Or incense to set the mood. None of these things are inherently bad. But sometimes, we use them as more acceptable forms of distraction.

We do this, really, because nobody likes being bored. Because we are so used to going, going, going, input, input, input, even the calmest among us gets jittery when we slow down, full-stop. But basic breath meditation actually asks us to choose boredom. It asks us to stop seeking distraction and simply sit. And then, as thoughts and distractions and that itch on our neck nag at us to move our focus away from the breath, we just keep bringing ourselves back to the breath.

Meditation is not about swapping out one set of distractions for another. It’s about changing our approach to distractions entirely.

You’ve heard stories of people who traveled halfway around the world in hopes of outrunning their problems, only to find that the problems came right along in their suitcase? This is the same principle. You swap one set of distractions for another one. Eventually, we figure out that distractions don’t work. They are quick fixes, but whatever we are trying to avoid will stay there until we look it straight in the eye.

Meditation is like a mini-session of looking our lives (and problems, and messes) straight in the eye.

So- it’s fine to be bored. It means you’ve slowed down appropriately. It’s also fine to be scared, or overwhelmed. Sometimes, what comes up when we’re alone and quiet is big and hard.

You also don’t have to enjoy any of this. Last week, I was utterly bored- miserably bored- during meditation and I literally rolled my eyes at one point. It was this moment of mini-rebellion against how awful it was to sit there doing nothing when I did not want to be sitting there doing nothing. It’s fine. It happens. Carry on.

Guided meditation, music, and incense can be useful. They have their place. (I have a few guided meditations I work with regularly.) But keeping basic breath meditation at the core of your practice will serve you well.

As we round out a month of practicing the paramita of meditation, challenge yourself to get bored. Remove all the props and just sit with yourself. See what happens. And don’t forget to breathe.

This post is part of the Paramita Project, where I’m practicing one paramita, or virtue, every month for ten months. You can read all my posts on January’s paramita, meditation, here.