Confusion is exhausting. That’s the simple wisdom of verse 24 of the 37 Verses of a Bodhisattva. It reads:

All forms of suffering are like dreaming that your child has died.

Taking confusion as real wears you out.

When you run into misfortune,

Look at it as confusion- this is the practice of bodhisattvas.

Verse 24

When suffering happens, confusion follows. We feel shaken by the way our understanding of life has been challenged. The way we want the world to be like is not how the world really operates. We get angry, we blame and lash out. And sometimes we will do anything other than feel the pain. All of this creates confusion on top of the suffering itself.

What a mess. Bless our hearts. Confusion is exhausting.

The metaphor in this verse is about dreaming that our child has died, only to wake up and realize it was just a dream. I see the wisdom in this. I also know too many people who have lost children, and so I have to add: suffering is very real, and it is awful, and I am so saddened that we experience it. It doesn’t feel right to make light of that in any way.

What does feel right, though, is to help people who are suffering not to do all the things that make it worse. And this is where seeing confusion as exhausting really helps. We can take a step back when we are reacting to suffering and ask, “Is this helping? Is this story I’m telling myself really true? What does my soul actually need right now?” All of that seems wiser than letting our confusion run us around when we are already down.

Ken McLeod writes, “Just rest. Don’t try to control your feelings. Open to all the stories and feelings as much as you can without being consumed by them.” When we do that, we often find that clarity follows. And so does right action. And then we operate not from confusion, or pain, but wisdom.

As the Kadampa teachings say, “It’s just a matter of knowing or not knowing how to deal with situations.” In the end, we find our path forward this way.

Where is confusion leading you to exhausting these days?