Don’t act with a twist means being aware of our motivations. Are you being nice because you want something in return? Are you showing a certain side of yourself that will be received best?
To be clear, the answer is yes! Of course we do this. And that’s not always a terrible thing. But for mind training purposes, it sure helps to be aware of it. And certainly, there’s a line where we may want to pull back and consider the broader situation. And the broader situation is this: we want to act in the way we believe to be right, and best, regardless of what it “gets” us. Sometimes we do things because we want people to love us, or owe us, or even feel bad for us. We use our actions as levers of manipulation. Not acting with a twist means noticing when we do that.
Consider this slogan the opposite of “how to win friends and influence people.”
The wisdom here asks us to see our actions as pure because the action itself is good. If we do a kind deed and nobody knows it, it still counts. If someone thinks we are rude or misinformed or shallow when we’re not, well, that’s their problem. The heart of what we do matters more than the press we may (or may not) get from it.
Norman Fischer puts it this way: “We train because we know it’s the best way to live, not to get our way, become rich, make people like us…” “Don’t act with a twist” helps us stay honest. It keeps us focused on the rightness of the work, not the quality of our feedback.
This is particularly important for spiritual people to remember because it’s so easy to make a big show of things. Even something honorable, like taking the blame or responsibility for something, can be twisted in hopes the person views us as more “spiritual” or “good.” This is why scripture says to pray and fast in secret. Don’t parade it out in the streets. Just do the thing, and let that be its own beautiful gift.
Certainly, much of this is about becoming aware of how we try to manipulate how others see us. But at the heart, I think it’s more deeply about teaching us to trust the inherent goodness of things. Trust your kindness is worth it because kindness is inherently good. When you give time and energy to a good cause, believe deep within you that it’s a really beautiful and good use of your time and energy. Trust people love you for who you are…and maybe let go of those who don’t!
Take a quick scan and ask yourself where you may be acting with a twist. What’s that about for you? And what if you found your way back to basic goodness instead of all that scheming?
