Simply put, don’t try to be the fastest. Don’t turn everything into a competition. Spiritual growth isn’t a race. If we want to compete against anything, it’s our former selves.
The wisdom of this lojong slogan teaches us to keep our focus on ourselves and not on how we compare with others. And if you’re wondering if this is an issue even among meditating monks, the answer is…of course it is! It’s human nature to want to one-up even the monk sitting next to you. And while competition isn’t always a negative thing, it often can be. Because it removes our focus from our own inner work and makes it about interpersonal power dynamics. And that can get really tricky.
I love how in recent years, the phrase “I want us all to win” has become more popular. Women use it often as a denunciation of female competition. Actors have used it when talking about fair pay. Political activists have used it. Prison abolitionists speak in this same way. We want the world to work for everybody. People working for true justice don’t want to switch places with people in power and perpetrate the same systems of injustice. We want a whole new system entirely! We want a world where everyone can thrive. After all, a rising tide lifts all boats.
It’s important to realize that competition often comes from a place of lack. It derives from that space within us where not-enoughness can get the best of us. So we puff ourselves up and try to get power over someone to squelch that feeling. And sometimes it works. But winning competitions doesn’t ever really address that problem at its root. For that, we need self-compassion.
I say this and also say: I love a good healthy competition! It’s important for our spirits and our sense of perseverance and fortitude! For instance, bouts of competition like the Olympics or team sports really can support the power of the human spirit. That’s not what this slogan aims to dismantle.
Traleg Kyabgon says, “From the lojong perspective, the samsaric idea that we have to compete with others to gain ground is completely erroneous… This preoccupation with competition is a form of self-deception.” The idea that we have to be better than someone for our growth to count- or that if we’re slower, it somehow counts less- is delusional. Again, especially in spiritual matters, we want everyone to thrive.
Where can you recalibrate your competitive nature this week? Can you find any place where it’s not really serving you or others well?
