Transformation is a process. We know nobody becomes a soul ninja overnight. If you want to change anything about your life, three things are indispensable: awareness, perseverance, and time.

Everything begins with awareness. You can’t change what you aren’t aware of, so the first step in any journey of change is to pay attention. Listen to your life. Notice what’s bringing you down. Contemplate what’s missing. Recognize your patterns and habits. Take note of your big red buttons.

Taking an internal inventory is the first step, but the key is to do it without judgment as best you can. There’s a reason this first step is called “awareness,” not “beat yourself up over the huge list of things you need to improve.” Awareness is helpful. Feeling a little motivated to change by what you see is even helpful. But the minute you begin veering toward shame, pull back. Shame is a master at making us feel stuck. And feeling stuck is the last place we want our awareness to lead us.  

To that end, start small. Start with what feels doable right now. This is a long journey. If you can’t begin working on the big burly thing, leave it. Start with what feels possible. Trust that goodness has its own momentum and you will get there. 

The second step is perseverance. The ninja path is known as the way of endurance for a reason. Only those who stayed committed became the ninja warriors of legend. If you want to bring about change, you should know that quick miracles do happen, but they’re the exception and not the rule. Most of the time, change is not an elevator but a long flight of stairs. If you start feeling overwhelmed, just keep your eyes on the step you’re on, and the next step you’ll take. You don’t get extra points for how confident you feel about it. The only point that matters is that you keep going.

Lastly, there’s time. Time is often the hardest to accept, because it’s the one thing we don’t have any control over. I tend to be impatient, especially when I’m really putting in the effort to get better at something. But listen: effort is not time. This is such a hard truth. Effort. Is. not. Time. All the effort in the world is not going to make those seconds tick by any faster. And there are some things that just take time. Flowers, for instance. Trees. Take a deep breath. Appreciate the part of transformation that isn’t about you at all, and requires nothing but your patience and surrender. Without time, we would be burned out by our own effort. Time sustains us and reminds us we are not the center of the universe. With time, all you can do is trust, and wait.

I’m reminded of this regularly on my yoga mat. With yoga, it takes your body time to get flexible. (Well, it takes my body time. I am not naturally flexible, to say the least.) You can stretch every day and still, months later, you may not reach your goal. Muscles become flexible by millimeters, not inches. It is infuriating, but that’s the way it is. I find this is so true in much of life, too. Find gratitude in the millimeters. They count, and they will add up. I promise.

Transformation is a process. But with awareness, perseverance, and time, you can trust the process. Change will come, and you’ll be a soul ninja before you know it.