As we continue our series on meditation, today I want to share a few meditation myths that can distract us from the heart of this practice.
So here’s the first of our meditation myths: The goal of meditation is to stop thinking. This is probably the most common meditation myth I hear. When people imagine meditation, they think the goal is to make the mind totally clear. And while that sounds lovely, good luck! The truth is, our minds will never be totally clear. And they will never be without thoughts. That’s truly beside the point. The goal of meditation is to observe your thoughts at a distance. Sit in the observation chair, and let all of those thoughts just whizz past you. Don’t get too worked up about them. Don’t go chasing any of them. If you happen to follow one, whenever you find you’ve left the observation chair, just drop it and come back. Thinking is human. It’s endless. It’s no big deal.
Meditation simply teaches us how to keep our thoughts from running like incognito spyware in the background of our lives. We wake up, we see all the thoughts, we let them pass us by. And in the process, we become more aware of ourselves. So- don’t get all worked up about whatever your thoughts are doing. Just relax, and see if you can observe them instead of interrogate them, document them, turn them into a three part epic drama series, etc.
Our second in the list of meditation myths is this one: Meditation makes you feel better. Now, this one is tricky, because meditation does have the capacity to help us calm down, get perspective, see other options, etc. And all of these things can definitely improve our mood. But if you stick with it long enough, you’ll quickly learn that meditation isn’t some fast track to bliss. As you awaken, you start to notice a whole lot of things you didn’t see before. Some of these are beautiful and meaningful. Some of them feel like being sucker punched in the gut. That’s all part of the awakening. We don’t get to just wake up to the good stuff. We also start to notice some unattractive personal habits, or some ways we’re being shallow or insensitive or unkind.
To be sure, we see a lot of this particular meditation myth on social media. All of these idyllic scenes of people meditating offers the idea that in meditation, “all is calm, all is bright.” Well. Sometimes. Sometimes, it’s just one Britney Spears song on repeat.
When my husband started meditating on his lunch break, he would come home and talk about how wonderful it was. He felt calmer, and more centered. After a few weeks, though, he came home and said it made him feel more grumpy. I could only laugh. “Welcome to your practice,” I said. “You’ve made it past the honeymoon phase.” I don’t want to give the impression that meditation always makes you feel worse. The point is, it makes you feel. More specifically, it helps you notice what feelings you already have. And those are going to fluctuate from day to day. Which, beloveds, is also called being human.
The third of our meditation myths is the idea that there is “good” and “bad” meditation. This one’s for all of you Type A people, those of you who like to get straight A’s and “do it right.” I have really freeing news: all meditation counts exactly the same. The only kind of “bad” meditation I can imagine is simply not doing it. Any time you sit down at your mat, it’s good. Any time. It doesn’t matter if you followed after every thought like it was a shiny diamond. It doesn’t matter if you just completed the most centered ten minutes of your life. You sat. You did the thing. Congratulations.
The beauty of this is that all meditation works. Any time we bring our awareness to being in the observer seat, even if we do it poorly, it works its wonders on us. You just have to trust it. I’ve had long stretches of really noisy meditation sits, but in the end, I still walk through my day more centered. I don’t know what to tell you. Just trust it. So, there’s no need to rank your meditation experience. Stop looking for a grade. This is completion grade only, beloveds. Be free!
Lastly, I want to talk about the idea that meditation will make you more productive. While I’m thrilled that mindfulness and meditation have found resonance in today’s culture, I have some very real concerns about the ways it is being used in the workplace particularly. Meditation is not a tool for capitalism. It’s not a way to make workers happier at their jobs so your company experiences less turnover. It’s not about giving them a meditation break so they produce better stuff for your bottom line. Meditation is not about any of that. Ever. The goal of meditation is to awaken to your life. So, it’s more likely that meditation will show someone they are ready to leave a job, or ask for that raise, or change career paths, or leave work earlier. Don’t buy into the corporate productivity hack.
One final note: as someone steeped in a spiritual tradition of my own while learning a new spiritual tradition, it feels important to say this: remember the roots of meditation. This practice, and this wisdom, did not come about in a vacuum. And it isn’t a product of modern studies on brain science. Meditation in the form we see gaining traction across the country (and arguably, the globe) is rooted in Buddhism. It’s rooted in Eastern cultures. The wisdom texts are written in Sanskrit and Pali. And this matters, because lineage matters and spiritual traditions are to be treated with respect. So, while meditation is for everyone, and is not faith-specific, it feels like good practice to approach it with honor, and gratitude for the people and places who have brought its wisdom for us to engage.
