A true ninja must always distinguish the mask from reality. In other words, a ninja needs to see clearly enough to know when someone is being honest, and when someone is putting on airs. In this way, martial arts shares something in common with playing poker, because in both instances, the players involved have to discern the difference between bluster and true skill. What’s a lie and what’s truly worthy of fear?

Of course, we use bluster and poker faces in our everyday lives, too. Buddhist thought says we have seven human emotions that are always fluctuating in different states of balance. We don’t welcome all of these emotions, though, so we commonly employ social masking to hide or control them. The problem with this, of course, is that when we wear a mask, we do little to process the emotion. And what usually happens is that the emotion just finds another, more creative way to surface.

A better tactic is to allow space for each emotion, and to process them as we feel they need. When we do so, we find that we are able to reside more fully in the present reality of the moment, rather than a constructed, false reality of our own making.

As we do this authentic work within, we will likely pick up on the social masking of others more readily. When we know what it’s like to live from our center, we can identify those who may be living elsewhere. And as bodhisattvas (enlightened beings who seek to serve the common good), we can see this as an invitation to provide others the space to be who they are when we are present. Our authentic living can encourage others to live authentically.

Bonus: when we see others clearly, we can also make wiser choices about who we choose to spend time with, and invest in.

The ninja learned to distinguish the mask from reality when their lives were on the line. Our lives may not be in mortal jeopardy, but we risk something vital when we are unaware of the masks at play in those around us, and in ourselves. And our authentic selves are certainly endangered when we employ social masking. (And, word to the wise: there’s a lot of pressure these days to have “positive vibes only.” It’s worth noting this is a form of social masking, too.)

Where can you practice your unmasked presence this week? How can you create space for others to do the same?