Here’s some ninja wisdom that has hugely practical applications for us: Space is your best defense. In fact, until you become aware of space, you won’t be able to defend yourself at all.
When you spar in martial arts, much of what you’re doing is navigating the space around you and between you and your sparring partner. You need to be aware of how far you’d have to move to land a kick or a punch–and how far they’d need to move to land one on you. Space is also a matter of timing; you have to know when to attack, when you need to back up and get out of reach.
When we do sparring drills in taekwondo, it’s not primarily practice for our kicks and punches. It’s spatial awareness practice, first and foremost.
The ninja training manual Gunjutsu Kikigaki describes why it’s standard practice to leave a distance between the outer fences of your camp and the barracks where you sleep. When you’re under attack, that space allows you to assemble a defense.
Though the ninja trained to be quick reactors, ready for anything, they also saw the wisdom in being prepared, and giving themselves time. They found it foolish not to create a little lag-time and room in case they were ambushed.
We are not ninja, need I remind you. It’s unlikely our first and fastest reactions are the best ones. So we should take their advice seriously, and trust that we’re going to need a little bit of space if we want to defend ourselves.
Which is why this is such practical life advice. This tactic can apply to stressful family encounters, which tend to be an inevitable part of the holiday season. Ninja wisdom says: make it standard practice to create enough space to allow you to assemble a proper defense.
In other words, if you want to avoid being a jerk during the holidays, think defensively and schedule yourself some down-time.
We tend to think of defense as a negative thing, but being defensive can be the most peaceful, peace-making thing you can do. When you create space, you avoid those harsh reactions and angry outbursts that can bring things to the next level. When you create space, you offer yourself a feeling of safety. And when we feel safe, we don’t lash out at others. We respond more wisely and constructively.
So how do you create space this holiday season? Make a plan. Before guests arrive, before heading over to your in-laws or co-worker’s house for dinner, set aside time for an activity that creates space within you. For some, that may be meditating a little longer than normal, or getting up early for an outdoor run. For others it may mean doing yoga, or reading a book, or playing fetch with your dog. It could be contemplative prayer or working on a coloring book. You know what helps you feel safe. You know what things help you feel more gracious and open. Schedule those things. Schedule them every day, maybe even twice a day. And then keep those appointments.
Set aside the space, and honor it.
What you’ll likely find is that you’ll be more grounded if and when your campground gets crowded and/or attacked. This isn’t to say you’ll be perfect (don’t put that kind of pressure on yourself), but you may be more aware, and less reactive. And you shouldn’t underestimate that.
Of course, this isn’t just golden advice for the holiday season. If you’re looking toward the new year, you may want to consider how you can add defensive space into your weekly routine.
As the ninja understood, often our best offense is a good defense. So don’t hesitate to create space in your life. It will give you the ability to respond to life’s challenges with a prepared calm, rather than a blindsided scramble.
