I’ve been talking about the three definitions of patience, or kshanti, and the third is patience as clarity. This is by far the hardest one to grasp, and to practice. Others describe it as the acceptance of truth. Patience as clarity asks us to see the world exactly the way it is–not as we want it to be, not as we wish it would be, not as we are pretending it is. All of the lenses we place on reality to make it look better (or worse) have to go.

Basically, practicing patience with clarity asks us to drop all of our stories of reality, and just see reality as it is.

I found this description by Tulku Thubten Rinpoche really helpful:

(Patience) is being in a natural state of mind, being in this very moment. Then we don’t have to try to be patient or react to any conditions. That is patience. Patience is also the understanding of courage…Patience means fearless courage to understand. Egoless wisdom. This is a threatening subject, to comprehend the nature of reality, because the ego has to die. Concept has to die.

Three phrases stick out to me in that passage. The first is “fearless courage to understand.” For me, this strikes at the heart of how patience forms us. When we’re confronted with something hard, patience asks us to stay, and listen, and try to understand. That’s true whether we’re confronting injustice in the world or a criticism against us personally. Fearless courage to understand.

Second is “egoless wisdom.” Our ego is what keeps our defenses in place. It’s what prevents us from seeing what’s real, or hard, or true. Our egos are fantastic at making excuses for us, and for the world. But patience requires that we listen and see what is really going on. When we do, wisdom becomes present to us.

Last is the idea that “concept has to die.” (Stick with me on this one, it’s a little nerdy.) Think of concept as “I am only going to see it this way.” Concept is rigid and refuses to budge. It demands, not allows. And that keeps us from seeing clearly, because concept demands reality to fit into the way we see things. When we talk about concept dying, we’re talking about the Buddhist concept of emptiness. Emptiness is not a bad thing, and it’s not nothing. It’s the sense of naked reality, just letting everything be exactly as it is, without our explanations or justifications. (Meditation helps us do this, too, by making us aware of the stories we are telling ourselves.)

When we allow our concept of something to die, it’s just another way of saying we become present to what is, without any agenda. That’s emptiness. It’s presence without attachment.

There’s one other aspect of patience as clarity that I find instructive. When we see reality as it is, we actually become better justice warriors. Since we don’t have to hide from the tough reality, we are free to name what is really happening. And if someone else is teaching or showing us a tough reality, we are free to listen, change our understanding, and do something about it. There’s a real power that comes from this clarity because it isn’t fueled by our defensiveness, or our self-righteousness. If we are patient enough, egoless wisdom will help us know what to do in light of what we now see.

I’m still noticing and learning how patience as clarity shows up in my own practice this month. What I can say for sure is that I’m grateful for how this way of seeing patience is stretching me beyond the cliches and really asking me to attend to my heart and my own system of defenses.

What are you noticing as you practice patience?

This post is part of the Paramita Project. You can read all of my posts on practicing patience here.