As I mentioned in an earlier post, the word kshanti can be described as three types of patience. The first is gentle forbearance. The second is enduring hardship. Patience and endurance have a deep connection, not just in practice but in the words that describe them both. If we say gentle forbearance asks us to be patient consistently, we can say enduring hardship asks us to be patient nevertheless. Regardless of our situation, its difficulties, our big emotions, or the reactions of others, enduring hardship asks us to keep going.
Lama Surya Das describes endurance of hardship as “going through it, not waiting it out.” It’s so human to want to just wait it out, and hope it gets better without any effort on our part. I was watching the final Harry Potter movie the other day, and there’s a scene in the forest after Ron leaves when Harry and Hermione are tired, depressed, and feeling more alone than ever. Hermione looks at Harry and says, “Maybe we just stay here, Harry. Grow old.” It’s such a heartbreaking moment because it’s so human, so real. We have moments in our lives when it seems like the best possible option, maybe the only option, is to quit. When faced with overwhelming odds, it’s hard not to want to wait it out, or give up altogether.
But we know that very few things change passively, especially the difficult things. Patience as enduring hardship asks us to work with our situation constructively, and actively. It asks us, in gentle but firm terms, to keep going nevertheless.
In the past few years, I’ve had to confront my own weaknesses about enduring hardship when it comes to fighting oppression, racism, and injustice. It’s so tempting to give up, because the enormity and complexity of the problem is overwhelming. But the more humbling realization is that I have the option of giving up at all. The only reason I can even consider whether I should be involved is because I am significantly less affected by these realities as a person of privilege. I could choose to live my sheltered life and think only about where I want to go out for dinner this weekend. And this choice- this ability to leave the fight as if it’s not really mine- is what has made so many of us who are privileged to be weak and unreliable allies.
We haven’t had to live in a world where we confront these realities daily; we can choose to ignore it and avoid it. And often, that’s exactly what we’ve done.
We can do better than that. And we should.
Enduring hardship prepares us not only to face big problems in the world, but also the big stuff in our own lives. It’s rare that our goals come easy. Almost never does our growth come without growing pains. Lama Surya Das says that’s why enduring hardship includes “voluntarily bearing the difficulties of spiritual life.” That’s Soul Ninja 101: Growth is possible, but it requires us to practice and to keep showing up. Spiritual growth is no different.
I remember a fellow writer telling me once that while everyone may have a story within them, it’s only the ones with endurance and will power who will get it out into the world. And that’s so sad. The world needs our stories! I know firsthand how hard it is to show up at the blank screen every day and bring words into existence. Writing definitely requires enduring the hardship of our own inner critic voices, all the distractions, all the doubt, and the enormity of the task itself. As someone who has done this more than once, I can say it’s hard every time. But it gets easier when you remember it’s possible.
Training for your black belt is also an experience of endurance. It asks you to keep going, to keep pushing yourself physically. To put in the work and the time and the dedication month after month, belt after belt. That’s why so many parents have realized the martial arts is a great gift to offer their children. The practice embodies perseverance, endurance, and patience.
Whether we’re training for a marathon or reaching for a career goal or moving toward spiritual maturity, practicing patience as enduring hardship gives us the kind of soul power that helps us show up in the world. We won’t be able to fulfill our purpose without it.
Where is life asking you to endure hardship today? What is calling for your dedication and persistence, nevertheless?
Where can you choose this week to show up in the world bravely and boldly and with patience?
