Y’all, we are STILL talking through the six sub-teachings on lojong slogan 52, “Don’t misinterpret.” The fourth and fifth teachings encourage us to practice compassion with clarity.

The fourth teaching tells us not to misinterpret compassion. How? By offering it where it’s easy and not where it’s most needed. If your friend is going through a tough time, that’s a natural place to offer compassion, and you should. But where your compassion is most needed- and potentially most transformative- is with those who are a lot more difficult. Traleg Kyabgon says, “The real objects of our compassion should be people who have no sense of direction and not enough insight into their existential condition to realize they have gone astray.”

In other words, the people who want to reject your compassion the most probably also need it the most. That’s tough to hear, but it feels true. Now, this doesn’t mean our actions capitulate to their wants or tantrums. But it does mean we begin by seeing the situation clearly and offering compassion because of how necessary it is.

The fifth teaching says not to misunderstand how to help others. The simplest example is a trite one, but it will work: don’t give an addict drugs. Don’t give an alcoholic a drink. Don’t give a compulsive gambler your WiFi password. This is not helping things. Whenever we offer help, we hope to offer what is truly needed instead of what may be demanded or wanted. Traleg Kyabgon summarizes the heart of things again when he says, “Our aim shoudl be to help others reduce their deluded states of mind.”

That feels so true. I don’t know what that looks like for you (or for me!), but it’s worth pondering. Practice compassion with clarity.

How can we offer compassion where it’s most needed?

How can we offer the kind of help that brings clarity, and not just relief?