If you want to stay stuck, practice being rigid.

If you’re seeking change, take a moment and ask yourself where in your life you’re holding on too tight, squeezing too much, resisting too strongly, or staying statue-still. Chances are you’ll find the rigid places. The good news is you’ll know, then, where the work is. The bad news is this: your rigid places are usually your most sensitive and vulnerable ones.

Rigidity is bad for us. There isn’t a sport or physical activity in the world that advocates for it. When you lock your knees, you pass out. When you do pushups or hold plank pose, you’re supposed to keep a micro-bend in your arms. Nobody scores a goal when their limbs are stiff.

This applies to all of life: our physical bodies need room to move, our brains need space to roam, our ideas need freedom to change and grow. If you’ve ever tried to follow a very rigid schedule or diet or plan, you know eventually it becomes unsustainable. Rigidity sets us up for failure because we can’t change if there isn’t room for us to move. Too often when we embark on strict plans like that, we’re attempting to do too much, too fast. We have to remember this is a long journey, and there are no shortcuts. Rigidity will only set us back. And what’s worse, we’ll be tired. We will have wasted all that energy on something that didn’t get us where we wanted.

The ninja are such good role models for this because they continually practiced adaptability and flexibility. They were never set in their ways, because they understood that each situation that arises brings its own unique gifts and challenges. And what is needed in one moment may be different than what is needed in the next. They trained to be prepared for anything.

I see this in martial arts, too. Even when we’re learning forms and step matches, my master shows us ways to improvise. You could go here instead, or, if you’re too close, back up and do this. This gives us range, but most importantly it reminds us that a fight is not a static thing; it’s about honing the right instincts for what happens each moment. If we just get mad that the kick didn’t land where we wanted, we’ve already lost. We dropped our focus, stepped into the past instead of staying present, and probably got knocked around for it. It’s a good lesson.

The same is true in life. We start to cling when things don’t go our way, but that usually makes things worse and not better. When we practice being adaptable, we begin to hone those instincts of response from a more centered place. We’re open to whatever happens, and we roll with it however it comes.

Rigidity is the enemy of change. Don’t let it keep you from moving forward.

Try to exhale around your rigid places this week. Maybe investigate why you’re holding on so tightly to something and consider what would happen if you eased up a little. Chances are you’ll find a better way forward.