In his classic book The Way of the Bodhisattva, Shantideva lists eight qualities that can limit our potential. This list is a collection of feelings, experiences, or reactions that prevent us from employing skillful means. Because the list is both long and heavy (meaning it asks us to take a good, hard look at ourselves), we will explore the first four today and the next four on Friday.
The first four are:
- Being confused, or lacking discernment
- Being distracted by emotional conflict or drama
- Being overly influenced by others
- Being apathetic, or complacent*
Being Confused
When we lack discernment, we lack wisdom. This one is hard, because often we can’t tell what we don’t know. That’s why we’re confused! We don’t see a situation clearly. While we may not be able to control what we can’t yet see, we can choose to live with humility and openness. Only when we are willing to admit we may not see the full picture can we possibly move toward being less confused.
Being Distracted
This one is relevant, right? It’s difficult to employ skillful means when we’re too busy reacting to emotional drama. Conflict can distract us from our broader purpose or intention. It can send us hurtling into the weeds of our own messy emotional stuff. If we want to use skillful means, we have to recognize when drama attempts to steal the show.
Being Influenced
Everyone is influenced by others; it’s part of living in an interconnected world. But sometimes influence overrides our own path to wisdom, supplanting us onto someone else’s path instead. In other words, we give away our power. Often, we experience this influence in our need for approval from others. When we focus too much on how others respond to us, we stop focusing on cultivating a life around what we really value.
Being Apathetic
When we view the suffering in the world with apathy or disdain, we close ourselves off from being able to live in a beneficial way. You can’t benefit others when you refuse to even see them, right? If skillful means is the act of applying wisdom in the way that is most beneficial, then we can’t be complacent or hide from the hard stuff.
Which one of these qualities hits closest to home? What would it look like to bring skillful means into the equation there?
*This list of eight qualities is shared in Lama Surya Das’ Buddha Is As Buddha Does.
This post is part of the Paramita Project, where I’m practicing one of the ten paramitas each month. Read all my posts on skillful means here.
