Most of us tend to think of regret as a negative thing. It’s what lingers after a bad decision. But regret can be beneficial for us, even helpful. Here’s why we can call it the gift of regret:

Regret shows your conscience is in the right place. It indicates you did something outside of your soul’s code. That’s definitely not something you want to ignore. See regret as an invitation to re-commit to what matters most to you. It’s an opportunity to realign yourself with integrity in a way that honors your soul.

Regret can be a powerful tool for change. When you get clarity around something you feel was wrong, you also get clarity and energy around how you want to change. In this way, regret can be a gift, because it sends you toward wholeness. It helps you live into your better self, precisely because you recognized how you fell short. Shantideva said many years ago that when we meditate on the ideals we violated by our actions, it’s the power of those very ideals that will set our paths straight again.

The power isn’t in the regret; it’s in your passion for the ideals behind that regret. Regret is like your soul’s way of whispering for you to come back home to your center.

Of course, it goes without saying that regret is not shame. Shame keeps us stuck. But we don’t want to be shameless, either. Being shameless is a sign that our moral sensibility isn’t strong enough to keep us accountable. We can see regret as a middle way, living between shame and shamelessness; just enough to make us accountable, not enough to get us stuck.

The next time you experience regret, don’t rush past it or ignore it. Take the time to listen to what it might teach you, what you might learn about yourself and what you value. Honor your regret by listening. And then, after listening, honor your regret by acting in a way that sends you once again in the right direction of your soul’s path.