Verse 13 of the 37 verses encourages us not to retaliate.” It reads,

“Even if you have done nothing wrong at all and someone still tries to take your head off, spurred by compassion, take all his or her venom into you- this is the practice of a bodhisattva.”

This is so hard. And it reminds me of a story. A friend of mine, who is a white male, was accosted by a minority once in a restaurant. It was a misunderstanding, but my friend didn’t try to explain. Instead, he listened. He nodded his head. He apologized. Soon, the situation became calm. When I asked him what made him respond that way, he said, “Well, look. Even if that exact situation wasn’t my ‘fault’ technically, the total situation is my responsibility. We live in an unjust, racist world. That man has every right to feel frustrated at the whole system, and at me particularly.”

I found this such a wise and mature response. He didn’t take it personally. He took it compassionately. And because of that, he was able to absorb a tiny portion of the rage and unfairness the other man has had to receive over his whole life, for equally misunderstood reasons. The wisdom of this verse seeks to restore balance.

I realize this story might hit some buttons, because we’re in a heated conversation about racism and responsibility these days. But this is the point: if those of us who have received the power and influence of an unjust system cannot handle the blowback from those who rightly point out its flaws, that’s on us. In Buddhist thought, this is why karma comes into play. The negativity we receive arises out of what came before us. It’s therefore a childish response to say, “I didn’t do that!” That isn’t remotely the point. The point is how we respond in the present moment to restore balance to a situation. And when we retaliate, we do the opposite.

The karma of race feels particularly charged, but it’s a clear example of this principle at work. Imagine thinking years of violence, enslavement, rape, abuse, and economic injustice has no right to land on us somehow. Imagine thinking we are outside of all of that pain, rather than right in the middle of it.

To use a more personal example, we’ve all been on the receiving end of someone’s bad day. We try to make sense of why someone blew up at us, only to realize it isn’t really about us at all. Dilgo Khyentse says, “If you see someone doing something negative, think of all the suffering he is accumulating for himself.” That brings us to a place of compassion. We don’t want to join that suffering. We want to rise above it. What will retaliation do other than keep us all inside the suffering and extend it even further?

This is why we don’t retaliate. We let that venom come in and return compassion for it instead. It’s hard, hard work. But it transforms the moment…and also the world.