Lojong slogan 27 says, “Work with the greatest defilements first.” Other teachers phrase it as working with your strongest emotions, or your biggest problems, first. Whatever way we phrase it, the wisdom here is not leaving the worst for last.
Often, that’s what we want to do. We want to strengthen our good traits, and ignore the big bad monster emotion that haunts us the most. Truth be told, it makes sense. The emotion we feel strongest and most often also feels the most overwhelming to us. For some of us, it’s anger. For others it may be greed or jealousy or pride. Whatever it is, it has the capacity to taint our relationship with everyone and everything else negatively. Hence, the word “defilement,” which may feel a little old school holier-than-thou but really means to trample or desecrate. And, if we believe all of our lives are holy (I sure do), then we don’t want our actions to dishonor that sacredness.
Which is why it seems wise to work with the greatest defilements first.
Of course, the other reason to start now is because it is going to take a while. Most likely, really, your own personal big bad emotion will be your traveling companion for all your days. But you can work on your relationship to it. You can make sure it doesn’t always have the driver’s seat, or the final say. In other words, over time, you can learn to work with it in ways that are healthy and constructive.
Norman Fischer reminds us, “Each one of us is given our own personal gift of craziness, our own preferred tendency for decompensation.” He encourages us to pay attention and see how, bit by bit, we can chip away at its hold on us. But also? We’re all a little crazy. No need to be too hard on ourselves about it. It’s about figuring out which kind of crazy we’re particularly responsible for.
So what’s your greatest defilement? What’s your biggest problem, your strongest negative emotional companion? This week, maybe just watch and see what it’s doing to your relationships. How does it trespass against the sacredness? And what could you do to handle that emotion in a more life-giving way?
